shared insanity
by Chuckles the joker
Summary: After The dark night where did The Joker go? Arkham, where he meets a doctor by the name Harleen Quinzel aka Harley Quinn. He tries his hardest to sucker her into doing what he wants, this is the detailed story of what went on in the Joker's mind. This is heaths ledger's Joker and Harleen Quinzel from the comics and cartoons. (Also some cameos of poison ivy and more) NOLAN'S
1. Chapter 1: Hello, Mr J

**A/N Heyyy, I'm starting to add/edit all the existing chapters to make the story easier to follow along with and also better in general, I don't think I'll be changing any major events sooo enjoy the first updated chapter**

Session 4

4 minutes and 23 seconds into the session...

'Was it acid? Drugs even?'

'No! No! No! It was stress from work! And maybe a few drugs...No no, I was never one for drugs...well maybe laughing gas...That's a drug right...Kinda'

'No, not enough...smiles.'

The devilish criminal would argue in his head. Did he remember or just purposefully forget? He Didn't know. Why was he the way he was?

'I'm just a man who had a very very bad day.' He grinned, talking in his head.

"Mr. J?" A soft voice asked carefully. "Can you answer my question please? Were you ever involved in any tragic event before the last five years?" The doctor asked, with her big blue eyes wandering from the clipboard and stealing a peak at his face, he would tilt his head, staring back, her eyes would dart back to the papers. He grinned, his dark eyes seemed so gentle, but then had striking darkness to them almost like a wild animal's.

"Well, when I was a young boy, my father didn't really care for-well...anything really." He lied, or did he? He didn't really know. "He couldn't stand hearing me." He frowned, acting as a victim...Or was it acting. He watched as she scribbled on paper, her eyes were lit up, like making a discovery. "Or maybe he just didn't like my...jokes." He studied her expression, watching as her eyes seemed to stare at nothing, she was thinking hard. He was getting to her. He slyly smiled and then quickly licking his lips before making his most convincing puppy dog face as her gaze fell on him for a quick second.

"And what did he do as a reaction to your jokes?" she seemed worried to even ask, she cleared her throat to sound more monotone.

His face lightened, he watched her for a moment, she adjusted her glasses, then fixed her blonde bun that sat perfectly positioned on the very top of her head.

"Well," He squinted, the brightly lit room was getting to him and the buzzing of the hold bulb rang in his ears. "I guess he didn't have a great sense of humor," he cackled for moment, then dropped to a serious tone. "He would lock me in my room until I was too hungry to speak."

"I guess jokes distracted him from all the beer that was so important!" He grinded his teeth, but quickly shot a smirk.

She gasped, but quickly recovered to a stone face, realizing her mistake. This was becoming so easy for him.

"You-you're truly beautiful, you know?" He licked his lips, they were dry from the lack of moisturizing face paint he usually had on. He reached out his hand to rub her cheek, but he restrained himself just a few centimeters away.

"Thank you." Her expression was solid and unimpressed, but didn't easily trick the clown prince. No, no. He was learning quickly just exactly how she ticked. "So, last session you mentioned something about your makeup.."

"I would consider it more of a second skin, or a painting of what I am on the inside." He grinned darkly.

"So why do you want people to see who you are?" She asked, she watched him for a moment, then quickly realized she had been twirling a piece of her bangs that had fallen out of her bun.

"Well, I do it as a...Public service, really." His tongue flickered. "I do it because people should see the true monsters that live among us, but they fail to realize that they're often the true monsters, the ones who cheat and lie, I just kill a few of them. The monsters-and I mean the real monsters live all around you, you don't know it, that person might not know it yet, but they will realize how mad they can become and will hide, hide in plain sight, and you can't stop them, but me, I am different because I don't want to hide, because we all can go a little mad and sometimes we just never bounce back and I'm perfectly fine with my monster."

"Oh." She managed to breathe.

"That and it just looks great on me! HA HAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" He laughed, banging his fist against the white table.

"Do you have any family?" she sighed, off topic.

"You know," he peered down at her name tag, "Dr. Quinzel, I think there is a little darkness you're hiding in your perfect little head."

She was caught off guard . "Excuse me?"

"This whole time you've been asking me questions, but you are the one giving more answers, you are so easy to read."

"I think I should leave now." She managed to say, rising out of her chair.

"Tell me, how much do you think you really know about me? Tell me how much you feel a connection, because I think you feel it, and I think it's because you have the same spark of darkness waiting to explode."

"I have you know that I came from the perfect family and friends, and a great school-" She argued, almost way too upset.

"They always do..." He smiled with his cheek resting on his fist, smiling up at her almost innocently. His expression changed quickly as his smile turned into a devilish grin "That must drive you mad. Doesn't it?" He lifted up from his chair, and leaned over the table a little, just to be in front of her face. "That boring life makes you wonder about the thrills of being a little out of your mind, doesn't it? The excitement in having little remorse, the never-ending adventures and the jokes, lots and lots of jokes" He smiled, his scars seemed to disappear.

"Well, I am hear to listen to all your great adventures." She sat down calmly, grabbing her pen.

"Oh, no, no, no." he was smiling ear to ear now. "It would be so much funner to show you."

"You and I both know we aren't doing that." She replied sternly, adjusting her glasses again.

"I wouldn't make that a promise." He warned, his smile fading.

"Goodbye, Mr. J." She stuttered slightly but remained as calm as possible, slamming the door as she left.

"Wait, Doctor!" He yelled, just as the door closed.

Four staff members entered, like always...Same old, same old. So boring. So predictable.

"Alright, you know the procedure." One of them sighed.

"Yeah, yeah." The Joker mumbled, licking his lips and putting his hands out in front of himself.

The man cautiously stepped forward, clicking on the handcuffs, the four led him to his cell down the hall.

"Alright, take these." One of them instructed him, giving him a plastic cup of water and a paper cup of pills.

The joker stared down at the three red pills, then glared back down at the man. "I'm not a psychopath, I'm just an abstract thinker with dark solutions." And like that, he slammed his cell door shut and knocked the pills to the concrete floor.

Thanks guys for reading! Hopefully you liked it and want to keep reading, this is just a little more detail about what happened to the Joker after the dark night rises and how he met Harley Quinn, so don't forget to review and yeahhhhh.


	2. Chapter 2: homemade smile

A/N: Second chapter has been updated !

Chapter 2: homemade smile

"I don't NEED them!" He chuckled, but his eyes were narrowed.

The doctor tried to reason with him, but it made no difference. "Listen, you do need them. Just please take the pills." The doctor pleaded.

"I'm not crazy!" the Joker yelled, putting both hands on his head. "Okay. Well...It's debatable."

"These are only sleeping pills!" The doctor yelled, he had repeated that many times before.

"Oh, well, that's quite funny. HahuAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA!" He cackled. He quickly stopped and his eyes darkened. "I'm still not taking them."

"What is the problem, Dr. Manis?" Dr. Quinzel, stepped up from behind the doctor. She touched his shoulder gently, then she looked up at the patient, she quickly took her hands away from the other doctor. "Mr. J." She greeted, her petite body stood like a statue at a careful distance.

"Harleen." He nodded, a friendlier smile crossed his face.

"It's Dr. Quinzel." She corrected him with stern eyes.

"He's refusing to take his meds." Dr. Manis stated, shaking the pills.

"I'll handle this." She sighed, tapping the doctor's shoulder.

"Be careful." Dr. Manis whispered, placing his hand on hers.

She jerked away from his touch. "No problem." She faked a smile, he handed her the meds, gave a quick smile before leaving.

"I don't like that one." The Joker stated, watching the male doctor march away. "If I were you, I would've took his hand and rammed it up his-"

"Excuse me?" She interrupted, startled and stern. "He's a good doctor." She replied, leading her patient to his cell.

"But not a good person." He argued. "Or boyfriend as I would think." He grumbled too quietly that she didn't hear.

"And what makes you say that?" She narrowed her eyes and placed her hand on her hip.

"Just a gift I have." He answered simply.

"Okay, now whats the problem with taking your pills?" She asked, placing the meds on the plain white dresser.

He swiftly grabbed the pills, and swallowed them with ease. "No problem." He grinned wildly.

She stared at him with confusion. "But you just-"

"I don't like him." He cut her off, staring straight into her bright eyes, it was like staring into the sky. "But I like you, you-you're so different. I don't Know what it is doctor, but theres something."

"Goodbye, Joker." She mistakenly told him.

He raised a brow, but didn't chuckle. "I-I mean Mr. J."

"Goodbye, darling." He waved, his teeth appeared in a toothy grin, giving her an uneasy feeling.

Session 2

"Hello, Mr. J, it is session 2. It is my seventh week in arkham and so far so good." Harleen grinned shyly, speaking into her recorder.

"Hello, harley." He shot a devilish smirk.

"Harley? Is that what you called me." She hadn't seemed as offended as he thought she would react.

"It suits you, your other side at least." He explained. "Harley." He repeated, studying the name. "I like it."

"Other side?" Dr. Quinzel asked, she seemed interested in everything he had to say, I mean it was her job to record everything...But she took extra time to try and understand him, people thought she was crazy. 'You can't understand someone who doesn't understand them self' they'd tell her, but what if he did understand, what if he was just terrifyingly unique.

"Oh, yes. Everyone has another side. The one that talks you into doing things. Bad things. It can become you, it is you." His eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Does your side take over sometimes?" She readied her pen on her clipboard.

"Oh, no, no, no, no. No." He shook his head violently. "It got all jumbled up with everything years ago. It is me, all twisted and grey. I can't really tell when I am being good or not. Or maybe- I. just. don't. care."

"Well, I believe that the good and bad in you are still separated, just a little mixed in the center." Her face softened, she had placed her hand on his arm for comfort.

"You won't survive like that. This world isn't divided by good and bad. Every good person has bad and every bad person has good." He corrected.

"That's smart." she nodded, taking her hand off his arm and went to grab her pen again. "Now let's find that good."

"Oh, HahahhaHahaahahHAHAHAAAHAH!" I am neither of those, I am just insane!" He yelled, laughing loudly.

"I don't believe so." She yelled back.

"My father was probably the closest you can come to being evil." He fibbed. "I hated that man, and I swore that if I had children, they would NEVER see me become that monster." The Joker tilted his head. "But you know the funny part?" He cackled a little. "The funny part is that I'm still not even close to being as cruel as that man."

"Maybe we should talk about something else...?" Harleen suggested, she saw the anger that was about to unfold and tried to safely turn away his attention.

"You know, the scars on my face aren't even the beginning. I have some all over. Some I remember. Some seem to be blocked out of my memory. I can't even feel the right side of my back. It's always numb, like it's not there. Nerve damage and all." He got caught up in his story and glanced to see if she even bothered to listen to the sob story. Sure enough, she soaked in every detail, she stared at his mouth, examining every sad word of his past come out. "The few things I remember usually involve him and a knife-or a bat-or a belt-or whatever that man could get his hands on."

He quickly shook himself into a stern and stone faced mood. He studied her. Her normally perfect bun sat ever so slightly lopsided to the left, her glasses stood perfectly on the bridge of her nose, her piercing blue eyes stared at him, slightly red, saddened.

"Oh, don't cry for me. Those tears shouldn't be wasted on me." He smiled a little, then he raised his hand and stroked her cheek, wiping a single tear.

"C'mon, let's put a smile on that face!" His smile became warped into a much larger one. He pulled out a rose from his sleeve. "Tadaaaah!"

"Where'd you get that?..!" She didn't seem quite as impressed.

"Oh, shush, shush, shush." He licked his lips. "Don't you understand magic?"

"Well, you better not pull out any weapons." She half joked, half warned.

Oh! AheheeheehHehHEHHAHA!" He cackled, his eyes almost watered. "You're a funny one. Not like the rest."

Within a few seconds a blade popped out of top of the rose and the Joker nearly leaped across the table. Harleen jumped out of her chair, nearly falling backwards in surprise. She made a dash for the door, but realized he wasn't chasing after her.

"Oh, relaaaaaax." He chuckled. "If I wanted you dead, you would already have been killed as soon as you stepped in this room." His faced was stiff, but quickly relaxed. "My Harley."

"Goodbye Mr. J." She frowned, smoothing out her pencil skirt and sashayed out of the room.

"He has a weapon. It is disguised as a flower." She warned the guards.

"A red rose to be exact!" The Joker hollered with a laugh, obviously ease dropping from the other side of the door.

Harleen couldn't help but giggle slightly, a guard turned to her almost immediately she became stoned-faced again. "Be careful." She whispered, so that the joker couldn't hear. It was almost as if she had to prove herself to him.

Was the joker forming a crush on Harleen. No that was highly unlikely and nearly impossible, he was a sociopath, he didn't have feelings. She didn't know why but she was already thinking of a way to prove to Arkham that he wasn't what they all said he was.

She sighed, she had thought about the whole situation for a half an hour, she barely even realize that she was already home. She swung open the building's door, walking past the front desk in a hurry to get to the elevator, the doors were already closing when she popped through them. She let her hair down, running her fingers through her blonde locks, but elbowing a man in the face as she did so.

"I am so sorry!" She gasped, as she quickly took a look at the mans face.

She screamed, it was the Joker! She nearly fainted. He had an unusual expression. He looked worried.

"Ma'am?!" He yelled, but his voice was competely different.

She blinked and focused a little better. He was gone, it wasn't him, a man with a bruised cheek stood over her.

"I'm fine!" she nearly growled, but she didn't know why she was so angry.

Just as she was steady on her feet, the elevator doors slid open and she just ran, running as fast as she could. She just wanted to be somewhere unreachable. Almost the second she managed to push the key in the doorknob, her phone buzzed.

"Damnit," she breathed heavily from her short jog.

She scrambled through her purse, her hands were shaking, yet she managed to keep a tight grip on her iPhone as she spoke.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Quinzel, we need you here as soon as possible."

"Its not a good time actually." She lied, her voice sounding too calm, she even convinced herself.

"Dr. Quinzel, its about your patient."

'You've gotta be shitting me...'

She hung up, her eyes wide. She hadn't even asked what is was about, yet she already felt sick to her stomach. She was worried, not even worried about the staff, but worried about Mr. J. she really needed him to be on his best behavior, she wanted to prove everyone wrong.

She swung her door open and threw in her purse, then quickly locked the door. she practically ran through people. She even closed the elevater doors on an older gentleman. She usually would walk to work, but she hopped in her car. She probably should've gotton a speeding tticket at least five times, but she was lucky.

Some doctors were already waiting for her in the parking lot. She slammed the car door and ran past the small crowd, they were scowling, like she was to blame for something.

"Follow me." A male staff member directed.

"I know where to go!" She shoved him out of the way and proceeded to his cell.

When she reached his cell room, she stood there staring at the door, listening for any sound at all. She didn't need to walk oin on him laying dead on the floor. She heard him chuckling, it turned into a vicious cackle, evil, scarier than she had ever heard. She knocked on the door, she didn't need him to be surprised.

"Oh, come in," he sounded intimidating and formal in one.

"Mr. J?" She asked softly, slowly unlocking the door and taking a step in.

"Oh. my. god." Her voice wasn't even over a whisper.

She saw the floor first, it was bloody, the blood pooled out of a guard who seemed to be still alive, gurgling, trying to gasp for air like a fish out of water.

"Make yourself at home." Her patient began to chuckle again.

She managed to lift her eyes from the bloody scene and look at the joker. It was terrifying, but she couldn't look away. He had painted his face back on, his lips and scars were covered in blood, his eyes had been painted with black and for the remainder of his face was white.

"How?" Her bottom lip quivered, but she bit it, trying to hold back her fear from him.

"A bit of blood for my smile," he answered, scooping up blood from the ground with his fingertip. "Toothpaste for my skin. And smudged mascara that stole from your purse."

"Why?" She asked quietly and almost entirely disappointed.

"Oh, for you my dear!" He giggled, "you wanted to know who I am, here it is."

"You killed a man!" She yelled in horror.

"Well, he's not dead yet!" He smiled insanely, waving the mans arms. "isn't that righT, Scotty?" He asked the man mockingly, reading his name tag.

"I don't think I can be your doctor anymore." Harleen practically began to ball.

"What!?" He shouted angrily, dropping scott's arms and breaking his nose on the concrete floor. "You can't! This isn't part of the joke!"

"I don't think therapy is helping you. I'm going to have to assign you a new doctor." She sniffed, her eyes were watering now.

"No! No! It's totally helping!" He lied awkwardly. "I am a little less homicidal."

"Goodbye Mr. J. I'm sorry that I wasted your time." She pulled herself together and cleared her throat.

"You can't leave!" He was angry now. "You're MY doctor. You're MY Harley only!"

"I am not yours." She said gently and coldly.

She didn't actually mean it to sound too cold. She wish she hadn't said it, but she had to.

"No! No! You'll be back! I promise that! I am a man of my word, and I can tell you this, it won't be for a good reason!" He just lost it, he ripped his pillow open, he kicked the walls and then began to paint them.

The blood quickly stained the cushioned walls, indescribable threats and words were painted everywhere. She had only left for a few minutes to get the head of the asylum. But by the time she returned, he had already finished his tantrum.

"She is my only doctor. And I'll do what it takes to have her." He warned the man with a large sideways smile.

A/N: Please review, it would be great to hear your opinions! I hope you like the small twists and I hope I am really capturing the unique spirit of this criminal! So please give me your feedback and I hope you enjoyed this!


	3. Chapter 3: small talk

A/N This chapter has now been updated !

Chapter 3: Chapter 3: small talk

To the joker's surprise, Harleen kept to her word. She assigned him a new doctor, a tough one too. She even tried avoiding his cell as much as possible, but she had a new patient who was right next door. He would watch her walk by, he sat on his bed, legs firmly on the grey concrete floor, letting his eyes follow her menacingly. Sometimes he would see her lift her eyes up from the floor and steal a peak at him. That made him chuckle. She paused for a moment, then her heels began to click against the concrete, but then he quickly spoke up, the first time in he'd talked to her since the accident.

"You know," he said licking his lips, lifting his head up from looking at his shoes. "I thought of something funny." His face softened and twisted to look her in the eyes.

She stopped, letting her curiosity get the better of her. She would have to get used to seeing him. He had been moved closer to her office, due to the stench of the blood that hadn't come out of his cushioned walls. She was forced to walk by him everyday now. She would hear him talking, to himself sometimes, and sometimes listening through the walls, hearing other patients.

"What do you want?" She growled, she tried to look as if she was in a rush or just wasn't interested, but she wasn't, he saw how interested she was, she almost looked smug, waiting to hear another secret of the mysterious Joker. When she looked at him, she saw something. Something that intrigued her, it wasn't crazy, it was genius. A little sparkle of knowledge, a little glimmer of cockiness, she was curious about him. He always looked as if he knew something you didn't or looked as if he knew your secret, maybe that's another thing people feared about him, the small clues that lead to everything about you just by studying you for a few seconds. People feared knowledge.

"Your name!" He sounded excited.

"what?" She looked disappointedly down at him, she was getting bored now.

"It almost sounds like 'Harlequin'!" He chuckled, raising his hands above his head, and pretending to read imaginary words.

"I heard it before." She muttered.

"Not useful information for you, harley. But for me, it just suits your-" He watched her start to march away.

"Destiny," he finished.

"Destiny?" She smirked sarcastically. "My destiny is to stay here and talk to the crazies like you."

His look turned evil and twisted, "I'm not crazy!" he barked. "My Harley." he forced a smile, holding back his rage, controlling it to stop her from being scared off.

"goodbye." she replied coldly.

"HEHEHAHHAHANHAH! You always were the jokster of the doctors here!" He muffled his giggles. "You're not gonna leave."

"And why wouldn't I?" She mumbled, sighing loudly.

"Because you wanna know all my little secrets." He smiled wildly.

She cocked her head, his face paint still remained, just barely. He refused to scrub his face in the shower. Threatening to even 'kill anyone who has even talked about touching my paints! As soon as I get out' he was very picky when it came to his face. The blood was completely gone, the toothpaste was crumbling and dry, but the black mascara around his eyes seemed darker. He hadn't been sleeping. She'd think about talking to his new doctor about prescribing better sleeping pills.

"What do you want?" She asked suspiciously.

"Better food," he sighed, "the food here doesn't quite fit my usual." He rubbed his stomach that grumbled lowly.

"Deal." She said too quickly.

She was already halfway down the hall, "That's my girl." He murmured demonically.

For some reason she wasn't angry, no, she was...glad. She gained trust...Well she wasn't quite sure what trust meant to him, but maybe he did look at her as trustworthy. A smile crept on her face, she felt happy and...and...protected?

"I'll see you in..." he thought for a second, "an hour?"

"Mhm." She smiled wickedly, out of view.

Joker's P.O.V

I have an odd feeling about her.

I like 'odd'

Oh, but should I trust her?

Hahahahheheheee, I so hate having to decide. Killing is just so much easier.

Oh, but she would be a waste to kill, she has a few uses. Maybe she could be my sidechick err I mean sidekick.

Just have to bring that evil side out of her, drive her a little insane.

"Oh, Mr. J?" Harleen nearly scared him.

"Yes?" He replied, laying belly up on his bed, staring endlessly at the white ceiling.

"What kind of food would you like?" She asked shyly.

"Surprise me." He chuckled. "Oh, and Harley? Make that a dinner for two."

"No, you have to earn me back as a doctor." She shuddered, a tingling feeling slithered down her spine.

"I wasn't asking for a dinner with a doctor." he answered slyly. "I'm asking for Harley."

"I'm going to have to say no." she breathed heavily, letting her lungs relax.

"Deals off then."

"That's not fair!" She cried, her mouth curving into a scowl.

"Oh, let's talk about fffffair." my teeth were digging into my bottom lip. "fair isn't one person being locked up, and others free. Fair, isn't ONE man killing a few little people, and another one killing some, and the only difference is that HE IS IN A BAT SUIT!" I slammed my fists against my small night stand.

"Batman kills bad people. You kill good people. That's the difference." She hadn't looked frightened or alarmed, just merely tired with a little bit of anger that she held back from her voice. I liked that, self control, but not holding back her opinion. But she looked quite beautiful when she was scared, I'd have to work on that.

"True, very true." I mumbled a little, then pulled myself up, to sit straight up and lean forward to look at her directly in the eyes. "BUuuuutttt." I sang. "Who decides who's good and who's bad? It's a matter of opinion really. And my opinion is that there is no good person and there is no bad person." I put a lot of emphasis on the last 'n', watching how she might shiver or squirm. But she didn't, she cleared her throat, scanned her clipboard.

"If you answer at least two of my four questions, then I'll have dinner with you, in your cell, being supervised."

I bit the sides of my cheeks. Challenging me? The girl was tricky.

"I love...Games." I sighed mischievously.

She nodded, bits of her fallen out blonde hair bobbed over her face. She swiped it aside and tucked it behind her ear. "Is that a deal for you?" Her eyes burned of slyliness. I narrowed my eyes instantly.

"May I hear the questions first?" I asked, intertwining my fingers together and placing them gently in my lap.

"That's not part of the game." She sang out playfully, pretending to read notes, but really trying to avoid eye contact.

She was getting comfortable. Around...me? I haven't had anyone that comfortable with me, like ever. She peaked above her pages and notes, thinking I was staring at the other side of the room, but I saw her out of the corner of my eye. She didn't examine me like a project, nor did she gag in disgust, she stared with a tight little smile. I turned around quickly, thinking she would look back down at her page. But her tight smile stayed and she turned her head. Almost waiting, wait had she asked me a question? No.

"Deal or no deal?" She asked, imitating that game show.

I chuckled, she knew how to cut corners and sucker them into want she wanted. "Deal." I answered, pretending to press a button.

She giggled, her nose crinkled, her eyes almost closed. It was a cute giggle indeed. A real one too, I heard many fake and forced chuckles when I told my jokes and gags, but this one was real, and cute, and sincere. Fuck. Stop. Why am I calling her cute? Unacceptable.

"Okay, first question, how old are you?" She wasn't asking personal questions, I could tell she didn't want to push it.

Was it thirty, no, not that old yet, my twenty-fifth birthday was two years ago? No, no, wait, yes. So twenty-seven, that sounded about right. "Tewnty-seven." I said the words slowly, I hadn't really thought of my age much, it felt odd talking about it, it didn't feel normal. Twenty-sevennnn, so odd, one of the few things I can actually remember correctly.

"Wow, okay." She sounded surprised, she wrote it down.

I frowned, a game shouldn't have to be official. It was only our game, nobody else should know the answers.

"Do you have or ever have any friends?" Her expression went from playful to serious, it wasn't fun.

"Pass." I tried to say without groaning in boredom.

"Okay now which one would you rather answer, if you could be in charge of the whole world, what would be the first thing you would do? Or If you could choose another name to go by other than joker, what would it be?" Her smile returned, this wasn't for any kind of crazy-test, she was just curious. Fun fun fun.

"Hmmm," my eyes stared at the ceiling, but I could still see her. She set down her clipboard on her black pencil skirt. "Number one, doc."

"Alright." She pushed her glasses up, then quickly moved her pen onto the page and jotted things down. This was our game, not a fucking essay!

"If I was in charge," I thought for a moment, what would I do when I was in charge of the world, or more realistically, Gotham. I would probably kill a few people to prove I meant funny business! oh that was good, I should right that down. But she didn't want to hear that. I had to tell her what she wanted to hear. Improvement. "I would find a place to call my own." Now that was the truth, but who knows how many people I would probably kill to get there.

"Fair enough." She said simply, but she was thinking more, she was probably thinking that I was changing, that I was a better man. She was smart, but not that smart. She was probably thinking of an article about how she healed the joker! Using her notes from our little session. I gave a warm smile. Covering how deep in thought I was.

"Doctor Harleen Quinzel, can you please step out for a moment." A voice buzzed over the speaker in the hallway.

"One second." She said quickly, hurrying out of my cell.

"One." I counted playfully, but an evil grin snuck on my face.

I heard her giggle at that joke from down the hall. Such a sweet little laugh. Not for long. After a few minutes of watching the empty hallway from out the cell door, I noticed her clipboard resting down on her chair. I breathed deeply, listening for her footsteps, nothing. what had she said about me? Did she believe my little innocent act? Of coarse she did!

I turned over the board, there was just scribbles. No letters, numbers, nothing but squiggly lines! She had been asking me questions for the fun of it? Pretending to work, but just having a sweet old conversation with me? How lovely, I already had her tied around my finger. I flipped through more pages, a few sentences here and there: MANIPULATIVE it was bolded and circled. That's a little harsh... But one that caught my eye: possibly has split-personality disorder.

"tsk, tsk, tsk. Wrong, blondie bear." My tongue slithered over my lips.

I don't think I had that, I'm just really good at acting innocent and can easily be...ticked. I flipped a few more pages, she had newspaper clippings glued down, and small doodles all over the page. Doodles of flowers, hearts, and cute little stick people. I traced my finger over the inked indents. She was so pure, so innocent, so different from me. A small clicking of heels on concrete echoed off the walls, I pulled my finger away in a hurry, flipping back to the first page. I tossed it onto her chair, hoping she didn't hear the 'clunk' from the clipboard hitting the dark wooden chair.

I leaned back quickly, almost falling out of my bed, but I stayed steady. I was a stealthy person, I think. The door buzzed, a pointed shoe took a small step in. I examined her fully. She came back with a small frown. How could somebody look so adorable when sad? I lived for making smiles, but her frown was hard not to like.

"What's wrong, Harl?" Leaned over, looking slightly more concerned than I felt.

She gave an odd look, reacting to the new nickname, but quickly ignored it. She let a giant breath out, smoothing her black pencil skirt and her red tank top, which had been under her jacket. "Oh, nothing. They just, they-"

"Well, come on now." I held back my urge to shout and gave a quick smile to make it a little more friendly.

"They don't think I should be your doctor again." She picked up her clipboard, she looked a little puzzled but blew it off

Oh, so now she wanted to be my doctor again? She is really wrapped around my finger. "Oh, well, what did you say?" I asked almost instantly, trying to sound like I cared.

"This is why they don't want me to be your doctor!" She began to yell, she pouted, she stood up and crossed her arms thinking. Cute. No, bad bad. Not cute. You just have to use her to get out. But she's so adorable-no no. I'm hungry. Shut up.

"Why? Small talk?" I chuckled, but my fists were clenched.

"Yeah, they-they think it's weird and just plain odd." She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. "I agree it seems unprofessional."

I was getting angry, but I calmed myself down slightly and asked, "Now, sweetie pie, did you really let them talk to you like that?" I was really going to snap if she wasn't going to be my doctor.

"And the petnames!" She cried out, ignoring me. "They have to stop!"

"Harley!" I grumbled, it scared her. There was surprised fright in her eyes, like she had almost forgotten I was a homicidal genius by definition. "What did you tell them!?"

"I-I said that you were MY patient and that would be a waste of MY time." She stuttered her words, but sounded confident.

"That's my Harl." I cooed gently. "So what are we gonna do about my new doctor?"

"They-uh already moved her to be mr. Crane's doctor." She mumbled.

"So-ah, got any more questions, doc?" I asked a little more cheerfully.

Her smile returned, appreciating that my 'mean voice' had disappeared. She wanted to talk to me really?

"Not really, why, do you want me to?" She tried to sound professional, but a little excitement leaked in her voice.

Oh, she definitely wanted to talk, but I cut her off. "Wait, after supper, after our supper." I couldn't help but let a smile form on my face.

She bit her lip, thinking. She was probably trying to think of an excuse she could use to get out of it. But to my surprise she just asked, "what food should I bring? I can't think of any surprises."

My smile widened, I must have looked insane-well I guess that's why I'm in Arkham but no need to explain that whole thing. "Chinese." I answered politely.

"Chinese it is." She smiled and waved a quick goodbye.

thanks for reading, please leave review and follow. I hoped you liked this chapter! I made it a little longer than my usual. But yeah i think the next chapter should be interesting! And what do you think of the joker's real personality? Anyhow, bye bye!


	4. Chapter 4: dinner deal

I heard her heels 'click' and 'clack' against the cold floor, reminding me of a clock. I imagined the ticking, so organized and precise, it would drive me insane if i had one in here, but i unfortunatly wanted one. I wanted to keep track of when our sessions were. I guess i could just ask, but i did things my way, my own way. I was just staring at the wall now, imagining what it would look like if i had paper to write on, i would tape ideas and new jokes and gags, paper would flutter with every breeze and gust of wind.

"Get off! Get those animal-slaughtering paws OFF!" A screaming female voice screached.

"Just get in your cell, plant girl!" A gaurd with a heavy accent demanded. Pronouncing 'just' like JE-UH-STT

"You're lucky i don't feel like tearing this looney-bin open!" She snarled. "I could! Just with a snap of my fingers!"

"Oh, please do!" I pleaded with a chuckle, through the barred window in the door.

"Shut up clown!" The guard yelled, still struggling to get the woman through the cell door.

"Yeahha! Clown!" She giggled.

"Oh, i really didn't like that new one! If i could get my hands around her small little throat i would just-" i was cut off by a fuard screaming.

"Sleep tight!" i heard the girl cackle, i only heard a cut off yell before a thunk of a body hittling the floor.

I heard her delicate footsteps sway closer and closer to my cell. She paused, her long red hair rested perfectly on her shoulders and back. She wore mostly vines, and a two piece, it would've looked skimpy, but there was so many vines! Her lips parted slightly. Another guard raced up to her. I smiled, hoping she would get tazered. But she puckered her lips and planted a kiss on his cheek, he fell to the ground with a loud 'thunk!'

"If only you were a bit nicer, clown." She hissed, blowing a kiss and then braking open all the cell doors (except mine) open.

"Listen here, Plant girl!" I mocked her, pressing my face up against the window and just barely getting glimpses of her. "I would watch my back!" i threatened.

She merely laughed, her emerald eyes peered at me. "You're nothing but a bad joke." She cackled and like that she strutted out of the building, patients hollered and yelled, running past her and into the rec hall, a few more hoots were heard, then the alarm buzzed numbingly. I heard the yelling died down and guards ra out of the asylum.

"Woah, what's going on down here!?" I heard a squealing girl ask Nobody in partparticular.

It was my sweet ol' Harley, i heard plastic rustling. Just on time , i hope, i really needed a clock down here. I heard few gentle thuds on the metal door. I smiled, my most pleasent sweet smile. "Come in." I invited.

I heard her card swipe and the door open, i turned around, she had put her hair in a side ponytail. How different! She wasn't wearing her glasses either, her ocean blue eyes were much more noticable now. By habit she went to push her glasses up, but simply hesitated quickly, realizing there was nothing there.

"I didn't know exactly what you liked, so i got a little bit of..." she sighed, picking up the bags off the floor in the hallway, and closing the door with her foot. "...everything." she breathed, quickly setting the hheavy bags down on the floor, then leaned backwards, cracking her back.

I stared blankly, what would we do? What would we talk about?

"Geez, it's quite hectic today, after what uh, happened." She said awkwardly, "they didn't even ask me why i was bringing in food!"

"No?" I smiled u evenly, why was i feeling so...so...uncomfortable? I was the damn Joker! I made every place my home a d wrecked it without a second look, but it felt different in front of her. I almost wanted to do something, something to impress her and make her giggle!

Her eyes darted around the room, damn! Hopefully it didn't look like messy! Why did i even care?! I looked up at her, her searching blue eyes were unaware of my staring. She bubit down on her lip, then sighed. Oh, thats why i cared, i felt my cheeks feel hot.

"I don't think we can use anything in here as a table." She grumbled, her eyes darted quickly around the room one more time.

"Oh, looks like the deals off." I tried to sound glad and smug, but I felt my eyes feel like they were pleading her to come up with an idea.

"Maybe the therapy room?" She asked, giving a side smirk, her Perfectly plucked eyebrows raised.

"Why not." I folded my hands together, looking irritated, but almost...glad...no, no, just not dreading it.

"Stanley!" She hollared through the window in the steel door. "Can you please, uh, _escort _us to the therapy room?"

"No problem, Ms. Quinzel." He replied in a deep voice. His large muscles made his arms seem to ststick out, it looked like he was walking with a sunburn.

"Doctor." She sneered, but quietly, she didn't want to come off too rude.

I chuckled, she really did get annoyed by that! I could use that one day. "Doctor." I mocked her in a girly voice, poking the muscleman in the chest. he grunted, his beady eyes hid behind his eyebrows when he was scowling. This made me laugh even more. But by now, the doctors and guards were used to it.

"And there you go, _doctor _Quinzel." he corrected himself ahead of time.

She patted his shoulder, nodding in appreciation. "You really aren't supposed to bring in food." He warned her with an unamused tone.

My jaw clenched, I could imagine stabbing him in the throat right now, watching his eyes flash in confusion, then the look of horror when they came to realize that their end was near. His eyes would do that too, then they would lighten, single drops of regret. Like the time he forgot to tell his wife he loved her or when he didn't go to his daughters soccer game. Then lastly, it was nothing, nothing but one last breath and then the joke was over.

"Mr. J?" It sounded mumbled and fuzzy. "Mr. J!" A shrieky voice pounced on my eardrums.

I blinked a few times, i was staring straight up at Stanley...i hated him, i nearly gaged at the name. I was just smiling up at him, my eyes were dark and i saw the little spread of fear plague his expression.

"Oh, and its not food...it's uh, some therapy equipment." She lied. Convincingly. That clever little minx!

He nodded slowly, stepping away and then mumbling a few words down the echoing hallway. I opened the therapy door, "ladies first." I cooed with a clever smile.

She kept in her giggle, and quickly transitioned back to the 'serious doctor'. "You have to go in first. For security reasons." I knew that! It was a joke, didn't she know!? I growled, that made her frown a bit. "So," she started off thenwaited for me to take my seat first. "What chinese food do you like?" Her voice was cneerful again.

"Lemon chicken." I cocked my head, watching her fumble through the plastic bags, then finally pulling out a styrofoam container.

She leaned over the table. Wrong move! Well it would've been if i felt like hurting her. But, i let it slide. Her hair spsmelt like fresh strawberries and watermelon. It was a great smell. But her perfume was perfect too, probably on the expensive side. I almost sneezed, but quickly bit the sides lf my cheeks.

"Anything else?" She asked, her big eyes were bright and cheerful.

"A fork, please." I asked politly, the word 'please' was hard and unpleasent coming from my mouth.

She gave narrowed her eyes at me, not in a rude way, but just ebenough to get on my nerves. She was examining my tone and expression. Did she really think i could kill someone with a plasic fork? Then again, i sure as hell would try. But i couldn't do it even if i really _really _wanted to. I had to play a good little boy and play nicely and normal. 'Normal' such a fascinating word, yet has no right meaning. Normal doesn't even exist, yet people are judged based on it. ThaT's like saying the best teddy bears are ones that look most like a real bear, even though the purple teddy bear is probably the best!

"Mr. J?" I could see her hand raise, she was reluctent to try and tap my hand.

i zoned back quickly, i had been smiling at the ceiling for a good two minutes. She probably got a little worried for my sanity. Her hand was still raised above mine, i was tempted to quickly pull mine away and scowl. But a smile crossed my face and she took her hand away in embarressment, obviously knowing i saw her hand was close to mine.

"Your fork." She spoke fast, looking away from my eyes, and then sliding the white fork across the table.

No matter how hard she tried tk avoid my eyes, she couldn't help but glance up at me. I ate a few pieces of chicken, finally turning my attention away from her, and giving her time to get comfortable. She pulled out a steamy styrofoam container of sesame chicken. She scooped some up with her fork and piled it in, her dark purple lipstick left a picasso of a stain on the bleached plastic.

"So, you know how old i am," I carefully cut a piece of chicken in half with the edge of my fork. "So how old are you?" I felt my eyebrows perk Up, as i shoved the sweet chicken in my mouth.

"Well, I'm not really supposed to share that information." She clenched her jaw. "But, since you were so kind when yoh shared your age...i guess." She looked unsure still.

I tried to look entertained, she wanted-no she needed to see that i was just like any other human being but i wasn't. She chuckled, seeing the intense fake excitment in my eyes.

"Twenty-five." She ssucked on the sides of her cheeks, watching my face closely.

"Huh." I said simply, watching her body language as well.

"I thought you would be older." We both bursted out in unision.

We couldn't help but let small bursts of giggles escape our lips. She didn't even seem somewhat uncomfortable, she laughed to her full extent, something i hadn't seen her do before. It all seemed so 'normal', there that word was again, just passing as an everyday term now. She qiickly calmed herself, letting only a few cheerful sighs out before settling down. I spoke up soon after, not waiting until things got too dead silent.

"So doc, tell me," I licked my lips with a click sound. "Have you ever had to give up on a patient?"

She cleared her throat, she was daught off guard a little. It was pretty annoying getting serious questions i guess!? I watched as she slowly wiped the corners of her carereful, not to smear the lipstick onto her skin. "Well, Mr J, yoy are my first patient."

They let a newbie work on me? I have to admit, i was a little insulted, i think i have a twisted enough mind to have a doctor that at least has a ten year experince. But i shouldn't complain, because I wpuldn't want to give her up for a new one. Oh, no, did i really just think that? No, no, i wasn't falling for my doctor! No, no! Was i? No! Why would i evwn ask myself that!? I couldn't possibly fall for-for my Harleyyyyy.

"Oh, is that so?" I leaned my cheek on my hand. "Why me, doc?" I questioned, putong emphasis on the 'c'.

"Well, I, uh, I...You intrigued me." She answered, sounding pretty unsure, u quickly saw the regret of her choice of words, which i used to my advantage.

"I _intrigue _you, eh?" I wiggled my eyebrows mockingly.

"No, well, not like...like that. In the way that it sounds, i mean." She was lost in a ocean of words that she kept spewing out. "I...I just mean that as a person you are very unique and fascinating."

"_Fascinating?" _I mimicked her again.

This time she didn't try to explain herself, she just buried her face in her arms that were resting on the table. She goggled at her own embarressment. Her back jumped with every breath she took in to laugh. "Nevermind." She shook her head, her cheeks were bright red.

"Sorry." The cliché emotion filled word escaped my lips, i hadn't even realized i said until she raised her head up and smiled.

Her initial reaction was to place her hand right next to was like i wasn't even in confrol of myself, because my hand slyly slithered onto hers. Her hand was soft, i felt like jusy sitting there all day, but at the same time i really ust wanted to feel her fingers snap, for her makingme feel so...so vulnerable. It was so weird, and i know weird!

We both peered down at our hands, snatching them away from eachother. She quickly stuffed her hand in her pocket, while mine just sat in my lap. "I think i really do need handcuffs." I joked, but it hadn't even felt remotly funny as my usual puns and gags were.

She nodded, looking quite out of place. Her eyes danced everywhere around the room, except for me. "Well, i think this was long enough." She stated squickly, blinking rapidly. She hurredly gathered her stuff into one.

"Agreed." I replied, with a small half hearted laugh.

A/N thanks for reading! If you guys could please just review or PM me, that would mean a Lot and it wouod be apreciated quite a bit! So yeah, hope you enjoyed this bit and byyyyyeeee


	5. Chapter 5: unprofessional

I watched her shyly stare down at the ground, trying to find anything to distract herself from the awkwardness. She was so sensitive, it made her weak, vulnerable, and i just wanted to have her-no! I didn't need anyone! Her hands fumbled a few times, trying to balance all the bags on each arm. She smiled unsurely as she dropped her clipboard, she crouched down carefully due to wearing a skirt that rose with every action she did, even walking. She cautiously got steadied, and knocked on the steal door.

"Uh, tha-thank you for uh- letting me have dinner with you." Her eyes avoided me entirely, it made me almost angry.

"Well, i did force you," i sighed, half joking. "So i should thank you." The door swung open, just as she turned to look at me.

If the stupid guard could've waited another second, just so i could see her little uneven smile. Just so i could see her litle dimples form into attractive indents, just a small glimpse at her undivided attention from her pure baby blue-STOP! Was i actually losing it? Was this how the Joker finally lost it, like lost the last bit of humanity? Or in this case i lost the last bit of insanity and gained back humanity? No! No way, i could be a little mushy around the edges, but i was raw and deadly inside! I couldn't let her just melt me li-

"See you latehhh, mistah J." And that was it, her little outburst of her accent just made me lose it.

She had told me a little piece of herself to me, only me, she had just told me about her background, with her heavy brookeland accent that had been heavily plastered over by training herself to pronounce letter by letter. And that's when i knew, i knew she was mine.

"I knew you would be my Harley again." I let the little victory words slip from my mouth, i saw her stop midway down the hall, just as the barred window on the door slammed on my face.

She turned her head, i saw her eyes dart around the hall, watching as the guard stepped outside for his break. She ran down the hall quickly, dropping all the bags right in the middle of the hall. Her hands were balled in fists, turning white. Her jaw clenched, making her jaw and cheek bones look more pronounced.

"Is that what life is to you?!" Her face was close to mine, with only steal bars seperating us. "Just a sick game of winning?!"

A cocky and charming smile crept onto my face. For me, i was a criminal, for the most part yes, but i wasn't just an ordinary criminal. "Did you forget what i am, pooh?" My teeth appeared, showing off in a wild grin. "That's all i care about." I lied, how much did she really care?

"I thought we-you made progress! I-i thought you actually li-" she stopped herself before admiting too much, but it was too late. She let her emotions reveal something that was an abomination. Her true feelings.

"thought i what!?" I already knew the answer, i just needed to hear it, i needed to prove it.

"I thought you liked me!" She yelled out, a tear streamed down her cheek.

i couldn't tell what kind of 'like' she was talking about. "Now, Harley," I grinned tightly. "Do you really think you would be alive if i didn't like you?"

"Nevermind!" She screamed, her side ponytail was loose and knotty. "I should've never became your doctor!" She growled, she realized how icy her words were, but she kept a brave face.

I saw her shake her in shame. Shame of me?! Is that what she thought of me? She should watch her mouth, saying things like thag can get you in trouble if someone were to have a weapon or if they were to escape and bump into her. She turned around to leave, i grabbed her wrist quickly. Her mouth opened with surprise, a quick breathed in a loud gasp. She quickly tugged back, trying to leave, but she couldn't win.

"Let go." She she demanded stetnly through her teeth.

"No." A simple defiant answer made her widen her eyes, she was scared, scarder than i have ever seen her.

It was because i wasn't playing her 'innocent patient act', i wasn't following her rules anymore. She thought i could change? No, i would always be me, i would always be what society made me, i would always be the monster people made me. But that disgusting monster in me, it quivered, something puke worthy made me feel sssssssad. Rejection. She would leave. If i just let her go, she would leave. I had to be good, kind, and everything that she deserved to have. I had to be her perfect little patient.

"It doesn't hurt to ask politly." I grumbled, my fingers unraveled from around her wrist.

Her jaw clenched, i could see a little bit of regret. She felt bad for sounding strict. She quickly mumbled something to the side.

"What?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh," she shook her head. "Just something my mom used to say. 'Kindness and manners keep the world sane',"

That was smart actually. "That's not true." I challenged, how defensive could she really get?

"What do you mean!?" Her eyes burned.

"Kindness," i grimaced at the word. "Is just a simple illusion, like a mask, i guess."

"How so?" She sat down quickly, dropping all her bags on the floor.

"Kindness is used to get things, greed hides behind kind words. It's all made up." I leaned forward in my chair, crisscrossing my fingers.

"What if you generally want to be nice?" She tilted her head.

"Then you either want to make yourself happy and are just doing it for yourself or," i continued quieter. "Or you just want to make the world a better place for the ones you love."

"So I'm partly right?" She gave a smug look.

I sighed in defeat. I'll be damned. I was just about to answer her with a cocky reply when she caught me off gaurd. "Why do _you _use manners?"

This was getting serious. I hated this. "I guess a little bit of everything."

She gave a little smile, then again, quickly gathered her stuff. She was leaving again? So soon? I couldn't grab her again, my heart beat quickly, there had to be something, another reason for her to be my doctor. "So are you still going to be my doctor?" The sentence escaped my lips quickly.

she chuckled rudely, "Are you kidding me? I think I'm moving hospitals." Her eyes stayed fixated on mine, watching if my eyes grew with any sort of emotion. There was nothing she could find there, it was hidden all underneath, buried alive in me.

"That's not fair!" I yelled, thrashing my fist on the table.

She glared, then gave a terrifyingly simalr smile to mine. "Let's talk about ffffair." she stole my line! "Fair isn't when your promised truths and then forcefed lies."

"But Harley, you looked so hungry for any hint of loving emotion you could find, even when they were acts." I told her the raw truth now, she wanted it that much, she could have it.

"You! You are the real monster, it wasn't society or anybody, it's just how you are! You keep blaming us as people, trying to put the crimes you do on anyone but yourself! Because you're afraid that you are alone, the only one that thinks the way you do, so you do whatever you can to make us like you! But we never will be!" She screamed, cheeks burning red, eyes watery and fists balled.

I pulled myself up from my chair loudly. We stood there glaring at eachother, in the mist of anger and truth, fogging our heads, or at least that's what i blame it on, because that's when it happened. We kissed. It was like i was pretending to be somekne else, but i wasn't acting, it was me, feeling my own feelings. I hadn't kissed her to make her believe something, I wanted to. It was like visiting paradise and hell all in one, the realization that we had bounderies between us, comepletly different lives, yet we clashed and it felt like we should be together. A dream and nightmare colliding, hope and destruction, and i wanted to stay.

She pulled away. She was about to say something,probably about how it was unprofessional, but we both already knew that. And we didn't care right now, it was only us. Her petite arms wrapped around me, she leaned her head against my chest, she quickly jolted, her face was bright with happiness, "say, you do have a heart!" She giggled sarcastically, she leaned back, placing her ear back on my chest and listened. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Am i crazy?" She asked, her chin dug into me as she stared up.

"Not Nearly as crazy as some of the people in here." I grinned down at her, she didn't seem pleased at the answer. "No. You and i aren't crazy, just instead of following the crowd, we would rather plow past them and the drive off the track a little."

"Whatevah you say mistah J." She giggled, biting her lip and then frowning with confusion. "How long?"

"How long what?" I groaned, why must there be so many questions?

I was about to unravel her arms fro around me, and sit back down, annoy her. Or just not talk, maybe call a guard or something. But i looked down at her, her blue eyes staring up like two oceans, she looked worriedly at my face, trying to find out if i was angry. I wasn't that predictable, so i grinned.

"How long were you-you know? Like-" i cut her off with a groan.

"Harley, my dear, does it hurt to leave emotions to mystery?" I sighed loudly, my grin was replaced by somewhat of a tired expression.

"A little." She whispered to herself, then she spoke up, "I should really go now, I just don't think it's right to be here-"

"With me." I finished what she was to frightened to.

"You know, I should go." She stated hurriedly, grabbing her bags again.

This time she actually left, leaving me here, alone. I don't think anybody knew quite how lonely you can feel when you only have walls to talk to. Sure, theres other patients, but they are just as good as the walls for the most part. Dr. Crane was okay to have a few conversations with, but he always asked questions, weird questions. And plant girl, she came in once in awhile, we never really had the greatest of conversations. People seemed so dull, so serious, they couldn't take any form of sarcasm.

"Okay, clown, you know the drill." An worker by the name of 'Will' ordered, slamming the door open.

"I can't say i know anyone by the name of drill." I replied, sounding clever.

"Haha." He faked laughed, but hisexpression was like a stone.

I hated those laughs. They made me want to guage out peoples eyes! They were just so rude!

"I know your little secret." Will continued, his eyes narrowed as he handcuffed me.

"And what would that be?" My teeth grinded together. This wasn't a very funny joke.

"There's a video camera in here," He pointed up at a camera mounted in the corner. "I saw the whole thing."

I felt my arms tense, but my voice remained calm. I watched a smug grin grow on his face. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm gonna get me a job promotion!" He laughed, patting my shoulder. "Who knew that Harleen was such a insane woman!?"

My hands shot up to his throat, my handcuffs jingled. "You don't ever say that again!" I barked, my jaw clenched. Could i do this? Could i let him live, for Harley?

TO BE CONTINUED...

A/N thanks for reading! can you please review! REVIEW!

So what do you think the joker will do?


	6. Chapter 6: The plan

My fingers turned white, they squeezed tightly around his neck. His face was priceless, turning red and then a pale shade of blue. I couldn't help it, i chuckled a little. His hands tried prying my grip off. But it was no use, his body was becoming limp and weak. I just wanted to stop the struggle, twist his neck, making a crunch, but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it, end his life, and have to lose Harley for some lame guard. She meant a lot more than that. I let go, he dropped to the cold grey floor, gasping, taking in precious air greedily. I stared down in disgust.

"Now, you go tell the boss that the Joker was a breeze to take back to his room. And that he might even desserve more time in the social room." I demanded politly, but my smile gave him a little bit more of a reason to do as i say. "Oh, and if you tell anyone about what you saw on that camera, I will make sure the last memory you have is of my smile, okay?"

He shook his head quickly, swallowing a few more large gasps of air. "Okay, take me back to my room." I held out my hands, he flinched a little, but quickly led me out into the hall.

i had a use for him later anyways. Believe me I would get him later. He would get what he diserved.

* * *

I sat there, sitting in my cell, feet on firmly on the ground, fingers findling and stretching. I stared down at my hands, so many lives had stained them, so many important and innocent lives and i felt nothing, but a single woman had the power to rethink if i should kill a worthless life like Will's. I let a man live because i let myself become weak! I balled my fists, my short nails began to dig into my palms. He would tell! No he couldn't, he's a coward! I wasn't that worried for having a bad record at arkham, because i know for a fact I would be outsiee of these walls soon enough and go straight back to doing what i do, but it wouldn't just impact me, Harley would pay the consequences. 'But i don't care, I'm the Joker, i do what i want,' i would tell myself. But i couldn't help but worry for Harley's career.

"I should've just killed him." I sighed.

I just couldn't win. If i killed him, Harley would leave, and when i let him go, he might tell, and Harley would be fired, or worse. But i didn't kiss her, she kissed me. Right? No, we just both started making out...? This is what happens when crazy events happen! My minds jumbles things up and then I get...crazier. No! I'M NOT _crazy..._

I had lost all my power, i hadn't felt so helpless before. I layed down, trying to just sleep away the problems. But they danced around in my head, taunting me, i was worrying. My eyes stung, i don't think i slept for a few days now.

"Can you stop tapping your foot!" I heard a voice screach from the other side of the wall. I hadn't even noticed i had been tapping my foot.

I recongnized that annoying tone. I heard it too many times here. "Plant girl!" I mocked, trying to sound as sarcastically happy as possible. "Didn't take you long to get caught. What did you do, tie yourself to a tree at a logging site?" I spat cleverly.

Honestly, i sighed in relief. I needed to talk to another a human being. I just needed to hear someones voice, even Plant girls thorny tone soothed me. It was just so weird...

"Oh that's funny, cause as i recall, while i was free, you were still here in your room." I heard her voice, she was pressed up against the wall.

"No thanks to you." I stated with a grumble. "Besides, i have reasons to stay for now."

"Oh and what's that, Mr. AlwaysGotAPlan ?" She chuckled sarcastically.

I could feel my cheeks burn, the drying toothpaste that was over them wasn't helping either. I wanted to shoot back a witty reply, but i bite my tongue. I might need the vegetarian in the long shot. She could make an okay partner in crime, but as soon as we get out, I am so going to feed her to the hyenas.

"None of your beeswax, kid." I grinded my teeth, but smiled at the name.

I could hear a little growl, nobody liked being called 'kid', but she was infact an amature. Sure she could grow plants to do whatever she wanted, but she used her gift for such terrible reasons.

"So what's your plan?" She asked nonchalantly.

"What?" I snapped quickly with confusion.

"Clown, i know for fact that you only talk to me when you really need something. And if you don't want to escape, what are you planning?" She sounded intrigued, I didn't really have much of a plan, i never actually had a plan.

"Can't a man be nice to a lady?" I teased.

"Not you." She sighed, "Get to the chase."

"Well," I sighed, giving up on the teasing and name calling. "I would like to get out of here, but there's a catch." I heard her mumble to show she was listening. "I need to bring a doctor with me."

"Oooh," She sounded excited. "The old trade the doctor for freedom trick?"

"No." I shot back quickly, but quickly bit my lip. "Er, sure, let's go with that." I lied, how was i supposed to tell her that i was planning bringing Harley for the heck of it.

I wasn't going to say I had 'feelings', I'm going to say that i have felt them a few times, and everytime I had felt these so called 'feelings' it seemed to only be with or about Harley. My dear sweet innocent Harleen, she would soon be my own little rebel, my Harley. My little Harley Quinn.

"Which one? That Will guy, cause he's he's a real-" I cut her off quickly, in thought.

"No. No, not him." I sighed, i repeated her name in my head, each time I heard it in her little voice. A squeaky brookelynn accent.

"Joker?" Ivy's tone sounded almost worried, but she quickly switched her annoying self. "Joker! You stupid fool, who!?"

I wanted to yell her name, but I had to play dumb, or somewhat uninterested. "Oh, I don't know, some girl doctor here."

"Oh!" Her voice sounded excited and sounded like she knew what i was talking about. "That Hannah-hailey err, something chick?"

"Harleen. Harleen Quinzel." I corrected sternly, but she hardly noticed my odd tone through her own stupidity.

"Yeah, yeah. What do you want me to do?" I could almost see her narrow her eyes.

"I don't know. And i don't care." Then i ccould just sense her come back, probably along the lines of 'I don't even know why i should help you.' I took a deep breath, "just use some plants, and trar this place open."

"They're having me moved to a new air-tight cell where there is no plant contact." I heard a sad whisper in her voice.

"I guess we will be having an early morning." I smirked, which quickly turned into a large demented smile.

I could hear Ivy chuckle and sigh a bit, not wanting to admit she was looking forward to our partnership (temperarilly). I was pleased with the plan overall, not exactly looking forward to working with Ivy.

"And I'm sure the guard is just gonna walk in holding an armful of flowers." I heard her grumble, she had a point, gah.

"I'll handle that." I was beginning to get a headache, questions, questions, questions. Isn't the fun in the mystery?

"Okay, Clown, i trust you." I heard her bed squeak, and a few deep breaths into sleep.

i gotta admit, that felt really good to have someone trust you. Stupid plant. I actually slept that night, a solid three hours. I woke up early, i had to do something else to show any hit of sanity. It hit me, really hard, my makeup. I couldn't just wipe away my face. I had to. No, there had to be other ways! But that was the only thing that made me different from any other patient in here (looks wise) and god forbid if i was different, they cast you out. That's the only reason I'm in here, for being a little different.

I stood up, staring at the sink. Imagining what i must look like under the toothpaste and smudged mascara, i probably looked half dead. I hadn't slept that much. I lifted myself off my bed, which seemed to be much harder than how it sounds. I stood staring at myself in the plastic-shatterproof mirror. My reflection was a familiar stranger. Some toothpaste was left and appeared distorting, then some of my real skin appeared through the crumbling paste, that long gone stranger, that i used to hate and now i had to wear his face again. I had to unbury him, dig up what was left. The scars didn't help, but it reminded me, of what i was.

I splashed some water on my face, then paused. Was i really going to just scrub it away, all of it away? My mind felt jumbled and confused, well, on second thought, it was always like that but i usually was a quick decision maker. I seemed to have a hard time deciding but my hands seemed to just scrub. A stale minty smell of crest faintly made its way in my nose. I hesitated to look at the mirror, i just stole a peek at myself and i already...hated myself. I half wanted to put my real facepaint on and not stare at myself in disgust and then half wanted to be accepted with my major and minor flaws of my face. Why did i, the person who wanted to be the one person to stand out and be diffferent, suddenly want to be like everyone else? It was her. Harley. Why do i need to base my looks and actions for her? I don't understand.

THE PLAN! Don't forget the plan!

"Oh, Willie!" I called out almost sounding drunk.

To my surprise the man was already on his shift, busy guy.

"Yes?" He sounded slightly shaky, but overall seemed tough.

"I believe you owe me a favour of some sort." I smiled, my scars felt tight and kind of itchy, my tongue flickered over them.

"Well-" I had to cut him short.

"AH-bahbahbah!" I mumbled over his words. "I just want you to take a nice walk through thw gardens maybe through the woods, ten minutes top. Then come back here and deal with your patients." My words were calming and relaxed, so unlike how i was feeling.

He looked puzzled, i saw his lips spread apart to say something but he just merepy turned around, avoiding any conflict. "Run along now." I chuckled, watching him turn around. What an idiot.

"Well done." I heard a female voice yawn from the other side of my wall.

"G'morninnnnngggg." I said less cheerfully than usual And morw of a grumbly voice.

"And here I thought that you could think of something more complex." Her snooty reply made me crinkle my nose.

"Well," I dug my teeth into mh lip. "The complicated jokes, don't get as many laughs."

I heard hed mumble in agreement and another yawn followed. "But how am i supposed to use small micro-sized plant particles?"

"Am i the doctor here?" I shot back before griumbling, "i gotta do everything myself."

"I heard 'doctor'." A way too cheerfull voice screached, heels clicking on the floor.

"Helllloooo Harrrrrleeyyyyy." I wiggled my fingers and then ran ghem through my thick lightish green and turning blonde hair. "You're just in time."

A/N So thanks for reading guys! I hope you likx the chapter and I hope im calturing the Joker's personality okay. So yeahhh, what do you guys think about the little team-up between The Joker and Ivy!? Kayyy, so REVIEW!


	7. Chapter 7: breakout

"For what?" She seemed to try to make small talk as she came down the hall.

"Oh, nothing my dear." A smirk crinkled my scars.

I almost forgot, i washed off all my face paint. She was busy fumbling her keys to even look up. She flipped through the ring of keys and finally found mine. Even as she came through the door, she focused on her clipboard. I just wanted to snap that damn thing, she pays all her attention to a piece of wood and paper ? Her lipstick was darker than usual. Such delicate lips, i couldn't help but stare. And her eyes, she had eyeliner on today. Was all this little extra work for little ol' me? NO, don't flatter yourself...! But what if...? Finally her eyes locked onto my stare. She gasped a bit. Was she scared? Did i scare her? Why wasnt i proud of this? I love when i scare people. Why did i feel shame?

I quickly turned my head, keeping most of my face turned away from her eyesight. She didnt need to stare at me. Not when i looked like this, like a filthy regular citizen."i uh- thought it was best to just uh-" i tried to explain, tried to make up an excuse. There was just silence. I felt like yelling at her to get out, for her to leave me so she wouldnt see me. I kept staring away, then i felt warmth. She had placed her hand on my cheek. She could probably feel the bumpy scars under her palm, she was probably cringing at the feeling she- "It's nice. I like this you-" she interupted my doubts. I'd lost feeling where my scars had been carved, there was too much tissue piled up, but i could still feel hed warmth above the hidious marks.

My eyes locked back on to hers. Her hair was wavy today, she let it down, framing her face. I couldn't help but raise my hand up, brushing her hair were away from her face. It was going to happen again, we both leaned in...

"Thump thump!" The wall shook a bit. "Eh, doc? You got any meds, see i got this stomach ache from this processed vegan shit that you've been feeding me." Ivy asked, completly ruining the moment we both were about to have.

Harley giggled a little, which definatly was cuter than my agitated groan. But i kept my cool, I couldnt yell at Ivy for ruining the moment, cause she really didnt need to know that there was a 'moment', and we were in a partnership that was hopefully gonna get me closer to my dear Harles. I waited for her to speak up, she adjusted her glasses and took a small breath. She was a real catch, which also brought attention from other fishers, i would hear a few whistles and cheesy pick-up lines thrown at her from other inmates, but some of the doctors even threw out bait, especially that Dr. Manis...He seemed calm and charming, he had something up his sleeve and was always so sure that Harley would go out for coffee with him or to dinner. I'm in a mental institute and had more luck with her!

"Well, maybe if you didn't refuse to eat the steak last night, your stomach wouldnt be upset, Pamela." Her lips curled into a little smug grin.

Finally i heard the heavy steps of my dear _friend _willie. He paced quicker past my cell and stopped at Ivy's. "Alright, plant, kneel behind the yellow line with your head down and hands on your back. I got orders to take you down to the basement. Not 'cause you were bad or nothing just so you can be in that special room." I believe it was that moment he realised his mistake of following my directions, or maybe it was the fact that Ivy cackled as soon as he stepped in the door. Poor Willie...

I looked down at Harley, her eyes wide with fright as she heard Willie screaming from the other side of the wall. Willie hadn't realised that he brought back small seeds from a rose bush. Thorny vines instantly burst oug through the door. Faint little footsteps echoed down the hall as she began to step out. She removed her orange jump suit, it slipped down her legs and soft leaves grew just where she needed them.

"Get down!" Harley ordered me worriedly. She practically jumped on me. I sat on my bed, my face utterly stiff and emotionless. When she found that I didn't lay on the ground like the procedure said to do when a code red happens, she looked quite terrifyed. I slowly stood up and smiled wickedly at her. She let go of my shoulder, falling to the floor. I took a step towards her, her lips trembled, trying to make a sound. Turning my attention away from her and pacing to the door I came to face Ivy.

"You have the doctor?" She began unlocking the door just with a thorn. I nodded, Plant girl looked over my shoulder, "she's a pretty thing." She stated swinging the door open.

How could i respond to that? I couldn't agree, but i couldn't- "very." I let it slip out.

Again, i lucked out, by the fact that Ivy hadn't realized that i acted _differently _when Dr. Harleen Quinzel was mentioned.

"Let's go!" I ordered the Plant, my hands shook and my teeth clenched as a thorn wrapped around the lock and twisted inside the key hole.

I swung back around, staring down at Harley, i expected her to be nearly in tears, but she merely looked shooken. But as i held out my hand for her to grab, she flinched. I kind of hurt to honest. But it made me feel powerful in a fucked up way. But i did feel kinda bad. Kinda.

"Come on." I said in the most 'normal' tone i could. She peered up at me with her big blue eyes and she took a breath but still hesitated. "You-you can trust me." And thats when i felt the warmth of her had run up my arm.

"Let's go!" Ivy screamed, holding the cell door open.

We ran, practically dragging Harley behind us, i could tell her anklez were rolling as she ran with her heels. She hopped a few times as she popped them off.

"Do you smell that? That's the smell of chaos!" I cackled, pushing a gaurd into a concrete. "What does this button do? I dunno!" Clicking random buttons as we ran was satisfying when i got to hear all the cells open. "So that's what that does!"

"Let's hot wire this baby!" The plant giggled excitedly over the distant sirens.

* * *

1 hour later

"Where are we headed?" I asked quietly (oddly).

" i have no clue." At least she was honest.

Ivy looked away from the road to look back at Harley. "We're not trading her are we?" She sighed.

"Well, yeah guess we could-" she shot me a glare, she could tell i wasn't being serious (as usual). I shook my head slowly.

"That was never the plan was it?" She huffed.

"No." I answered quietly, looking back a Harley sleeping like a baby.

A/N Thanks for sticking around for this long! I feel bad for not updating sooner! Stick around for more hopefully soon! Love you guys!


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